Step Two: Identify the Patterns
Recognizing what gets reinforced through repeated actions is critical to cracking the code. And no, its not always an easy task.
Unless you are prepared to completely re-wire some of your belief structures and destroy your old patterns, once you find them, you won’t have any new experiences or outcomes.
People will “show and tell” you everything you need to know about their beliefs and patterns within the first few minutes of connecting. Your unconscious mind reveals your story. So you need to pay close attention to see and hear the elements.
Let me explain this through the behaviours of someone trying to lose weight. Ever wonder what the hardest part of trying to lose weight is?
For most people, it isn’t figuring out what to eat and what to avoid—you know you need to scale down your portion sizes; focus on fruits, veggies, and whole grains; and hold off on the chips, donuts, and other high-calorie treats and get more exercise. The biggest challenge for most weight loss seekers is the “intention-behavior gap.” That’s the disconnect between knowing what you need to do and doing it.
People generally don’t keep repeating behaviour patterns unless on some level they get something from the behaviour. Once you understand what psychological needs are entangled with the unwanted behaviour you’ll be more effective at changing them.
The class that was the biggest eye-opener for me was Faith Wood’s “A Cure for Willful Blindness”. Throughout my life, I have let my desire to think and speak well of others turn into that flawed blind spot she spoke of. She posed the question, “What am I not seeing at work?” Our jobs are so intense and full of legal ramifications that we sometimes get overwhelmed and over fatigued, and we miss things that should be addressed. Wood expressed that we need to have a willingness to stand on our values; and have the integrity and accountability to stand up, speak up, and sometimes be uncomfortable. My new mantra is “I am getting comfortable with being uncomfortable.” – Michelle “Mikki” Chandler, Spring City Recorder (UMCA Conference)
A Cure for Willful Blindness made me open my eyes to things I should not let slide just because I don’t think what I say matters or because I don’t want to upset anyone. It could end up harming me, my fellow employees and/or the City I work for. What to do in an Active Shooter Situation reaffirms the plans I have made and has pushed me into asking my co-workers to think about theirs. – Susan R. Hale, Sunset City Recorder (Utah Municipal Clerks Assn. Conference)
Want to know how to gather information quickly and successfully, or how to negotiate or resolve conflict? Well, this is the course to gain those skills. Faith did an excellent job in presenting, and I hope many others in the association will follow in taking this course.
– Michael Young, S/Cst.
This course concluded today and I want to let everyone know what they missed out on! This was an excellent opportunity for us to enhance our communication skills to “cut to the chase” and be able to negotiate conflicts in a very simple and effective manner. We are so impressed that I’ll be asking the city to bring Faith back to run it again, in the fall…
– Garry Roth
I am one of many who appreciates you and your outstanding efforts. In my 54 years on this planet and during a working life that has had 5 peace officer appointments, I feel qualified to say that you are one of those people who brings character to your job. You are a credit to your family, friends, citizenry and the community. Society is in a state of flux, you are committed to principles that are not.
Faith Wood has a charismatic way of presenting to a group. Her Predator / Prey information is serious and critical, however she delivers it with humour and an intensity that drives the point home. The value in her message is very clear and simple which makes her recommendations easily applied in our day to day lives. After hearing Faith give her message, our group is better prepared to protect themselves and make safe decisions. A great investment for your group, give them some “Faith” in intuition and permission to use their own power!
– Jill Jones
She was a wonderful presenter and I would definitely attend another seminar presented by her. She has a wealth of knowledge and made foreign concepts real to the accounting crowd. I’ll be able to use these techniques daily.
Faith Wood entered our annual regional meeting with a big smile and positive radiant energy. Faith started her wonderful presentation and everyone in the group started smiling and laughing, forgetting about their everyday stresses. Faith left our group with real life experiences and easy ways to deal with our stresses. THANKS FAITH.
Bob Bomberak – District Park Supervisor, Winnipeg Beach
I was amazed at how I was able to use the tips you gave during your short presentation at the HRIA conference. Following that day, I ended up having difficult conversations at work and with my family. Being able to throw out the positive energy as well as minding my space and avoiding blame, we were able to reach consensus and everyone walked away feeling better about it. Thanks for the great advice!!
The presentation on Body Language was entertaining and very informative.
Real life examples were so easy to relate to and I learned a great deal.
I would highly recommend Faith for your next seminar!
Specialist, Health, Safety and Wellness