Its a matter of perspective
Ever notice how sometimes our perspective of a given life situation makes us feel inadequate or less than capable? We try so hard to keep a clear head and maintain objectivity, but then find ourselves guiltily comparing ourselves to others whom we perceive have a much more perfect life, business, family then our own. But, what if judging ourselves against limited data is undermining our ability to do amazing things? Perhaps you even know that your mind is playing tricks with you, but you don’t have a clue how to change all that.
Case in point (this little blog note was shared with me by my eldest daughter recently) and I offer it here for your Friday morning chuckle:
All these parents with perfect children. Children that don’t cry, unless they are so overwhelmed with loving emotions for their parents. True story.
Children that never scream. Unless out of an overwhelming desire to scream about how thankful they are to have such incredible parents. Mine do this all the time, naturally!
Let’s just be honest here. Social media makes us all look like we are incredible parents. Nobody posts pictures of their children kicking them in the face or even worse, in the boob, while you attempt to change a poopy diaper.
We don’t see Mom and Dad locked in the bathroom with tears rolling down their faces while their kids attempt to break in by use of butter knife.
No we don’t get to see those things and that impacts our perspective and makes us secretly dread that there is something inhuman or wrong with us.
Social Media posts are like fantasy – it is all about creating the illusion – a fictional tale that shows only the best parts (ok, maybe even the funny ones that don’t make you look too weird or inappropriate). Yet, we treat these glimpses into someone else’s world as if it were the real deal – the whole picture of the perfect life.
We get to see fantastic family outings with parents singing songs in a video selfie with laughing children in the backseat. We don’t see the meltdowns and the fights trying to get the kids to stop throwing thermoses at one another’s heads or fighting the fatigue and lack of blood sugar which typically shows up at the end of the amazing adventure.
We do see all these wonderful yummy cookies and muffins that you baked together. We don’t see the bottle of wine on the counter after the argument to stop touching everything, sneezing into the food, refusing to share utensils with their brother and reacting to the tone of voice you used when you inquired “What just happened“?
We see the beautiful crafts the parents created with their kids, but we don’t see an exhausted Mom with hair falling out of a pony tail who just spent the last 30 minutes cleaning up after the 7 minute craft you got to ooh and ahhh over on Facebook.
Social media is fantasy – a controlled environment where we all get to promote ourselves as superheroes. Editing manages to keep all that positive and inspirational photos on the top shelf.
The problem is that when all our friends (and their friends friends) post nothing but good stuff, we think there is something wrong with us. We secretly feel cheated – like under-achievers when we see people doing way cooler stuff than we could ever think to participate in.
We surf the net for the parenting help messages – books telling you to love them through their temper tantrums. But who loves you through yours? And let’s tell the truth here, our children model what they see.
Confession time here – I can’t count the times, in ONE day alone, how many times I screamed at my kids to stop screaming. But I definitely don’t post pictures of that.
What kind of parent does that make me? The parent that wants to pull out her 4L box of wine (for medicinal purposes only). And yes, I drink wine from a box, because I enjoy my wine on tap with easy access!
As amusing a reality check as this post was, are you ready to learn some tools and strategies that don’t necessarily rely so heavily on boxed wine? Then check out the opportunity I just posted to spend a day with me learning some mind magic and behavioural anchoring that could help you create those magical moments without the photo editing software. Introduction to NLP on February 2nd or 6th in Calgary.